How’s Your Gaydar?
This is a fun, upbeat story that explores a positive perspective on online dating for men who have sex with men.
Gaydar is the name of a great dating app, and it’s also a term used to describe whether you can tell if a guy is queer or not.
The question our editor here at INTOUCH RUGBY asked was “Do I have an effective Gaydar, do I actually know if a guy is queer or not?”
If my gaydar was terrible but I was gay how would I find ways to connect with guys that would increase my chances of successful gay dating?”
Our editor is a straight guy very comfortable within that space and has never been attracted to guys. “We had heard about the idea of a Gaydar years and years ago. Probably 15 years ago. It was a time when I along with just 3 other people (I was the only straight guy) started Belfast’s first openly gay mens rugby team “The Belfast Titans”. That experience and enterprise arose from a good friendship, and a love of rugby. It opened up so many doors at the time it was just incredible.”
“It was during that process when guys were constantly chatting me up, that one of the other gay guys pointed out to me that they seemed to be only speaking to me beacuse they where interested in dating! They wwere kinda suggesting “How’s your gaydar?“. I had no idea! I just thought i’d made all these new friends! It made me think however, how do i tell if a guy is talking to me as a friend or as someone interested in dating me?
“Overall for some reason I regularly find myself in a particluar situation… say at a train station, or shopping, or just walking home from a concert with my girlfriend that gay men stop in concerts and talk to me! Or i’m standing there and a guy is leaning on a street corner in shorts with a sweater wrapped around his shoulders and my gaydar pings! I find it weird that if i mention this to anyone they say that means i’m gay. I feel like saying… don’t you think a double degree, master educated 40 something business owner who has even helped a gay rugby team get started, would know that. I i just say… ok right i see yep ok lol”
So that is how my gaydar got started!
I suppose one of the takeaways is to just think of the number of gay guys who like straight type guys and spend years trying to talk to guys who are just not interested. Its all well and good for a while. Yet just like in “Stranger Things” where it turns out Will is Gay and loves Mike! Mike is totally oblivious and Will is totally going crazy inside! At some point you just want to say stop this move on break up with him, he’s just not into guys. Then if that person gets a tip… hey “have you heard of this cool site “gaydar.net” It basically is a site where the overwhelming odds are that you are in a space with other like minded men. The relief that Will and at this stage tens of thousands even hundreds of thousands of isolated young gay men have gotten is immense. Suddenly that incredible anxiety is drastically diminished and everyone knows they can be themselves and be safe and be accepted.
Being of any sexual preference is a case of finding like minded people. That is why honest and open welcoming sites like gaydar that provide a safe space for like minded people are so successful. As people find out who they really are and then find their true friends. Its probably all part of growing up isint it? Finding out who we are, figuring out these things, accepting who we are and then living that best version of ourselves as best we can.
I must say its been a great pleasure to finally write this article which has been a subject over the years of great interest to me.
Thank you so much for stopping by. We hope sincerely that you have a wonderful day! Do come back soon!
Best wishes,
The InTouch Rugby Editor-At-Large!
Loving it!
