Hello!
Casual Dating & Relationships! Positive Experiences!
Remaining carefree and enjoying life by maintaining financial security and focusing on work and education and making money is only part of many peoples lifestyle choices. So many people are also dating and embarking on loving affectionate relationships! But when does a relationship become loving and affectionate! At what point does a friendship and romantic courting so to speak series of encounters become a committed lifelong relationship! Logically what is a relationship before it becomes a committed lifelong relationship. Well! Simply, it is a casual adult dating uncommitted short term relationship! It may have potential but in the beginning when people are just getting to know each other (of course i am not including arranged marriages and scenarios where couples are matched with or without their consent by third parties, often parents / religious leaders) the relationship is casual and uncommitted! Are the two people compatible? Are the personalities compatible? Are the individuals stable, it their outward appearance physically and mentally simply a facade? These are legitimate questions asked by so many people at the beginning when they are getting to know a potential lifetime partner. Practical questions must be asked, in fact these questions in a situation where a person has good control of their emotions and is approaching their life rationally will be thinking of the future (a unique aspect of being human is the ability to think of the future!) This is similar to our ability in our societies to delay gratification because even though people may want to get into a long-term relationship one simply must consider is this person likely to be a positive contributor to the relationship in 5, 10, 15, or 20 years time!
This is why understanding and embracing the concept of casual relationships and allowing this process to naturally develop can be such a positive experience as people explore and find out more about each other in an open un-committed way that allows this exploration to occur in such a way that both parties can save embarrassment or a sense of failure should you decide not to pursue any further the other person. By remaining uncommitted both parties can still have a really positive experience, enjoying time together even in a no sex dating scenario, enjoying life and experiencing nights out, time at the museum, or dining out, or attending a classical music event, or a launch of a speaking tour by a great philosopher, or a book singing by a great author or exhibition by a great painter of landscapes or portraits for example!
In societies where most relationships are formed in a free market place of choice then having this protective shield of un-commitment is the best shall we say way of negotiating the potential pitfalls. Is it perfect! Perhaps not, there are downsides but its a lot better than the alternative, and crucially if people can talk about these very issues then consensus and understanding about the rationality of this position can be explored and understood!
So! Be rational and enjoy dating!
Very best wishes!
Relationships and dating curator!
InTouch Rugby
